Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Living with Bipolar

I am not even sure where to begin in describing my life having bipolar. I will start with what I am struggling with now. I have chosen not to have children. For one, it is unsafe for me to be off my medication. I sometimes cry when I see children in stores, commercials or am around my friends children.

What makes me strong is I know God has a plan for me. I know this may sound bizarre to some of you but I believe my son or daughter is an angel in heaven waiting for me. I also have three wonderful step children. I may not be in their lives as much as I would like but I treasure the time I am with them.

Before I was diagnosed with bipolar all I wanted was a family. I was a teacher to children with special needs. I wanted to have my own children and also adopt a child with special needs. What is ironic, my step-son has special needs and his father and I help him with his developmental skills. He is a blessing in my life. I just wish he could be in life more often.

I am also struggling with my weight. I became ill three years ago and the medication slowed down my metabolism. The changing of all the medicines to find the correct dosage and the side effects (hair falling out, rash on the face, weight gain etc) is straining on my body. On the flip side it is worth the struggles which led me to the right medication.

Hugs and strength to you all


  1. Yes, you are right God does have a plan for you, and I believe that one is to share your struggles and be an inspiration for others. You are doing that here, and I am inspired by your story. Thank you for sharing. :-)

  2. You fabulous woman. This post comes straight from your heart and I'm so grateful that you let me read about your struggles.

    It must take a lot to tell it how it is and I'm pleased you'll get a sense of release from allowing me read about your life. Your God will certainly have a plan for you and I believe you're living his plan now by making me understand that the problems I have are tiny. I'm glad you have step children as your family.

    Loads of hugs and keep the blog going becasue it brings me down to earth. Mart

  3. I went through the same struggles when I got married about wanting to have children. It was difficult and I did go off of meds for a year and half, (cold turkey, no dr. supervision). We continued to try even after on medication, no one told us it would be dangerous to get pregnant. Thank God we never did. By the time we knew of the dangers we knew we didn't want kids, and it was a blessing in disguise that we didn't get pregnant. That's why we have so many animals. ;)

    I understand what you are going through because I have been there. He always has a plan and one that's better than we could ever think ourselves. I'm grateful you have your husband and step children. I also understand the need to want your own child. It's painful but you will get through it and things will be better than you could ever dream. HUGS and peace.

  4. yes, I believe God has a specific plan for each of his children - taylor made for each of us!!
    I also beleive giving voice to our struggles takes some of the strength from them and allows others to voice theirs. Thank you for sharing yours!!


  5. What a lovely, strong person you are! You are truly a mother, in every sense of that word, when you care so much for your step children.

    I respect you very much and am so glad that you share your experiences with others here.