Friday, July 30, 2010

Sunday, July 25, 2010


Praying to the lord and knowing he is with me at all times gets me through the tough days.

God bless

Saturday, July 24, 2010


I am depressed. I have already made an appointment with my therapist. Why am I depressed? "not sure". I am finally driving, I am taking an art class, I belong to a gym where I am meeting new people and I belong to an eating support group. I am also  loosing weight. "why am I depressed?" well that is partly because of Bipolar.

What do I do when depressed? I push myself to become more proactive. Sometimes, I may just need a medication tweak. How do I know when I am depressed? I describe it as watching a movie. I am here pysically but not mentally. The racing thoughts are bad and tough to concentrate.

hugs and strength to you all!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Who am I?

I have Bipolar and Fibromyalgia but who am I?

I am kind, a Step-Mom, creative, funny, a sister, a wife, tenacious, an artist, giving, caring, out going (I love being around my friends and meeting new ones), non-judgemental, and loving. At times I have low self - esteem, however making a list helps me.  Make your list, who are you???

Saturday, July 17, 2010


Continuation of having Bipolar

I started hearing voices in the year of 2007. At first I thought it was the neighbors talking. We lived in a duplex. Each night the voices became louder and scarier. My husband did not hear what I heard. The voices (I like to call them auditory hallucinations because voices are from people) would say some of these phrases"we are not voices, we are spirits"; "you are psychic";"your neighbors are watching you"; your neighbors are brain washing you"; "people can read your mind".

At first I did not believe any of these phrases. However each day I would hear them and withdraw to my own little world. The voices/hallucinations became my friends. I would have conversations with them. I was in acute psychosis. I wasn't able to sleep due to the voices/hallucinations. I became sleep deprived which made them louder. Some days were so bad I had suicidale thoughts.  Even to this day, if I am sleep deprived or with medication tweaks, I would hear the voices/mumbles/hallucinations.

Anyone out there hear voices/hallucinations? Sometimes, I would hear the voices through machines(fans, computer fans, car A/C's, house A/C's, washer and dryer machines and fans in the bathrooms,etc) Once I turned the fans off the voices/hallucinations would go away.

hugs and strength to you all

Sunday, July 11, 2010


My last blog was about being your own advocate when visiting your doctors. I feel it is sad that we have to do this but this is reality. My next visit is the end of July. I will have to double check the prescription to make sure it is correct and legible. I was very anxious and did not feel grounded. My husband took care of the situation. When an incident like this happens it makes having bipolar worse.

The nutrition support group is going well. I am loosing 2 pounds a week.. When I shed this weight I would like to start my own group.I have to be very careful due to my medication. The medicine I am on changes my metabolism.

Hope you all are well. Sending strength your way. hugs

Sunday, July 4, 2010


   Continuation of my story having Bipolar

  As we all know it is important to have a psychiatrist you can trust. I have found it has been a battle finding the right one. I have been through three different doctors and going on my fourth. I believe I have said this before but you have to be your own advocate. Check you prescriptions before you leave the office.

Recently, I saw my psychiatrist's nurse and she wrote the prescription out wrong. I did not realize this until I arrived at the pharmacy. I was frustrated and anxious about the situation. We went back to the office, however they were all on vacation for the fourth of July.

Hugs and strength