Part 2 with Depression

My last blog was about turning to food when depressed. I discussed how I joined a support group called TOPS (take off pounds sensibly). The first meeting went well. The group meets once a week and weighs you each meeting. For me, having the extra support gives me the strength not too over eat when depressed.

The group has rewards and a magazine which talks about healthy eating. I am back in the gym and hope to shed this weight. I like this group, and it is very inexpensive.

I am sure others can relate that the medication increases your appetite and changes your metabolism. I have to fight that hunger and redirect myself to forget that I was hungry.

Depression

     When depression occurs I turn to food. My therapist gave me a name of a support group that I can turn too when that urge happens. "It is called Take off Pounds Sensibly" TOPS. I can not have peanut butter, butter(I place butter and sugar on top of toast with cinnamon), chocolate, and ice cream in the house.

When I feel depressed those are my comfort foods that I turn too. Today is my first day going to the meeting. I am very nervous. I never had a weight problem before or had problems with food before. When I eat my comfort food, I am on a high and feel awesome. After, I feel extremely guilty. They have TOPS in many states. I will update in how the meeting goes.

Have a blessed day

Living with Bipolar

I am not even sure where to begin in describing my life having bipolar. I will start with what I am struggling with now. I have chosen not to have children. For one, it is unsafe for me to be off my medication. I sometimes cry when I see children in stores, commercials or am around my friends children.

What makes me strong is I know God has a plan for me. I know this may sound bizarre to some of you but I believe my son or daughter is an angel in heaven waiting for me. I also have three wonderful step children. I may not be in their lives as much as I would like but I treasure the time I am with them.

Before I was diagnosed with bipolar all I wanted was a family. I was a teacher to children with special needs. I wanted to have my own children and also adopt a child with special needs. What is ironic, my step-son has special needs and his father and I help him with his developmental skills. He is a blessing in my life. I just wish he could be in life more often.

I am also struggling with my weight. I became ill three years ago and the medication slowed down my metabolism. The changing of all the medicines to find the correct dosage and the side effects (hair falling out, rash on the face, weight gain etc) is straining on my body. On the flip side it is worth the struggles which led me to the right medication.

Hugs and strength to you all

People with a mental illness

     The list below are people that have a mental illness (depression and bipolar). This list helps me on my bad days and shows that others can function while having a mental illness. People with a mental illness vary, some can work and some can not. I want to show how many can work on having an illness and have many gifts. I have met teachers, artists, and teacher assistants that also have a mental illness.

Sopie Anderton: model           
Adam Ant: musician
Andy Behrman: author
Russell Brand: comedian and actor
Georg Cantor: mathematician
Dick Cavett: television journalist
Connie Francis: singer
Alan Garner: novelist
David Kelly: English weapons inspector
Eddie Griffen: American NBA player
Buzz Aldrin: astronaut
Joe Budden: American hip hop artist
Edvard Munch: artist
Kay Redfield Jamison: clinical psychologist and professor of psychiatry

Push day

      Today I feel like a wilting flower. These are the days having bipolar I need to push through. I am adapting to a new medication and my energy slowly fades. I was able to do most of my chores but slept  most of the day. Days like these I take it slow. I do a little bit then rest and that continues throughout the day.

My days

Continuation of my life coping with Bipolar Disorder

Thank you all again for taking the time in reading my blog and leaving helpful comments. I thought this blog will be about my good and bad days to inform others diagnosed with disorders you are not alone.

Good Days

• sleeping 6 to 7 hours
• following my schedule
• racing and negative thoughts are minimal
• no crying spells
• I am not anxious

Bad days (two to three days a week) 
I am still not in remission with my disorder. I saw my Psychiatrist yesterday and he increased my anti-depressant medication (Effexor)

• sleeping over 10 hours
• anxious (wandering around the house)
• I don't feel like showering
• crying spells
• my mind is filled with negative thoughts which leads to paranoia
• pushing self to exercise and following a schedule

On my bad days I talk out my negative thoughts to my husband. However, some days I have to work them out alone until he arrives home from work. On bad days, I push self just to get through the day and night.

hugs and strength to you all