Monday, March 22, 2010


Continuation of my story and the struggles I faced when diagnosed with bipolar

As I said before, I was diagnosed in 2007. That year I spent most of my time in bed. I didn't take care about my hygene. My husband had to help me with basic living skills. The voices/hallucinations became my friends. I moved away from my home town to be with my husband and it was difficult meeting new friends. My father has a fear of flying, however he did call everyday. I would sit at my art table and stare at the paper for hours.

My short term memory was poor and I bagan to put on weight slowly. My husband would take me shopping and people would stare and laugh at me. I have no memory of this. I was on a strong medication which made me sluggish and I would stare off in the distance.

I felt like a puppet. I would do what the voices were telling me to do. "eat more toast","you didn't eat today, eat more" the voices/hallucinations would say. At times I would come back to reality and ignore the hallucinations. I was fighting for my sanity, but not by myself. I had Jesus in my heart and a loving husband. I would have my husband read the bible, and bipolar books to me. I couldn't read myself as the auditory hallucinations would repeat the words.

As I was laying in bed I looked up at the ceiling and saw moving shapes. I began to have visual hallucinations. "there is an angel in your neighbors window" the voices would say. I went outside and saw a shape of an angel. Paranoia struck and I thought my neighbors had put a spell on me. I pretented to take the trash outside and knocked on my neighbors door, however he was not home. The next day I admitted myself into the hospital.

Anyone reading this that struggles with a mental illnes or other disorders you are not alone. What helped me was seeing a therapist, leaning on family that has accepted the illness, leaning on the Lord, support groups, journaling, exercise, and healthy eating,



  1. I love your blog. You describe things and feelings with great clarity. I almost imagine myself with you when you have your bipolar experiences. Do you think this blog is allowing you to move on and dominate bipolar?

  2. What a struggle you've been through! I admire your strength and trust in the Lord. Thank you for sharing your story with us and for your continual sweet comments on my blog.

  3. I'm grateful you have your husband. This is one illness not to go it alone. I'm glad you have him for support. I appreciate your support on my blog also. My prayers to you. Peace